Home Sweet Home

Well we made it home today. It was snowing and cold but home is so nice...

Samantha chose to come home today. She is feeling good and managing her pain great.
The doctors have arranged for a nurse to come to the house and show us how to care for her broviac and administer the antibiotics. We are waiting for the nurse now.

Samantha is taking a quick shower, Isabella is sleeping after we giggled a bit and read a couple of books. I missed putting her to bed!

Daniel is at his dad's tonight, relieved that finals are over and looking forward to a nice break.

Jeremy and I are both looking forward to some quiet times at work (knock on wood!)

It was so familiar leaving the hospital today, but I realized on the way home that we don't have to go back for another 4 weeks - just enough time to start to feel normal again. I felt at home at the hospital but there were so many new faces - a lot of younger kids this time - but the parents all look the same.

It is time to get back into the Christmas spirit, I plan on listening to some of my favorite music and start wrapping packages. I think I am pretty much done - but some will get their gifts late (some things never change). :)

Tomorrow I will probably have to do some grocery shopping and a quick one two on the house.

I will take some pictures tomorrow and post them tomorrow evening - Samantha is looking fantastic, just a big splint on her lower left leg.

Take care!
Love to everyone!

My Daughter Super Sam

Today will be another quick update. Samantha had a pretty good night - she woke up a couple of times but the nurses are great - not stingy with pain meds at all. I think we have a great combo of meds. There is this one - a liquid form of ibuprofen. It is fantastic for bone pain and swelling. Unfortunately, she can only take it 48 hours at a time.

PT came bright and early and Samantha decided to try and move. She wasn't really happy about it but she did it. She got up and sat in the chair with her leg lowered a bit for quite a while. She tried to use the crutches - but she her right breast area is still tender from the broviac placement. Her leg is also pretty heavily bandaged and awkward. With her weak hip it wasn't realistic that she would be able to crutch down the hall. So the bottom line is that PT agreed that she is doing well enough to go home when she is ready. Dr Heare agreed - if she decides she wants to - we will go home tomorrow.

In the meantime, we continue to watch Gilmore Girls during every waking minute and try to find something that Sam will eat. Good Times... :)

I hope everyone is happy and healthy!
Love to everyone!

Day 2 - Quick update

So today was ok. Samantha had a pretty good night after giving me the low down on all her friends and the characters of the show "The Hills". There was a lot of turning her and watching her blood pressure.

Dr. Heare wanted the epidural out today so she was transitioned to oral pain meds. This afternoon they removed it for good and she seems to be managing the pain ok. Even though the Dr and physical therapist really wanted her to stand or at least sit on the side of the bed, she would not do it.

I think it is a bit harder for her because she has been here before and knows that it is going to hurt when she finally does move that leg. She is resisting. Tomorrow she won't have a choice and I have a feeling it will be a hard day. Then I am thinking we will be able to go home on Thursday.

Isabella is doing ok - a bit of a rough start this morning but she had a blast playing in the hospital playroom this evening. She remembers this routine as well. She just wanted to make sure Samantha and I would be home before Christmas.

Daniel was actually nice to his sister today - played some x-box video game with her for a while. He had part of his Calculus midterm today and he finishes up the rest of his tests on Thursday.

The weather is still cold but at least the sun came out today so the roads are improving.

I think that is it for now - sorry for the short report tonight - but I am beat.

Until tomorrow - Love to everyone!

It's About Time

I am so sorry about not updating for so long. Life has been busy and long story short, Samantha's infection in her ankle was getting bad and so we decided to move up the surgery. It was today.

During the time between Thanksgiving and now we have been meeting with doctors and preparing for this day. Thanksgiving was nice and relaxing - my very favorite holiday! Food, good wine and most important - friends and family.

Samantha has been working at keeping caught up at school and even took a couple of her midterm tests early. She has been doing wonderful at school!

After careful consideration she decided to try and save her ankle. If you remember - she had to chose between a below the knee amputation or 3 to 5 surgeries and another year of healing. No one should have had to make this decision - but my bright beautiful daughter took on the challenge and did what she felt was right. She woke up this morning happy she made the decision and now that she is resting comfortably this evening - I am happy.

We packed our hospital bags this morning and listened to Sam's favorite music (super loud) on the drive to the hospital. We checked into the hospital and fell right back into the old routine. It is kind of scary how easy it was - even though it has been 9 months since we have been back for an overnight visit, it is very familiar.

As I waited for Samantha's surgery to finish, I was thinking that last time this year we were here for one of Samantha's hardest times. I remember being upset because I wasn't able to do Christmas shopping, I remember the small Christmas tree set up in the corner. I remember Samantha's swollen lips and all the pumps pushing food and medicine. That stay was 10 days - and we can be glad that this visit should only last 4 days.

At least this time I was prepared. I am almost done with Christmas shopping - we visited Santa yesterday (as you can see by the picture) and the kids baked 'grandma's cookies' yesterday. Perfect timing, since they help settle Sam's stomach after being under this afternoon.

Samantha received an epidural to help manage pain - I am grateful for that. We have to watch - move her around a bit and monitor her blood pressure, but she is comfortable so for that I am happy.

Today's surgery was to remove all the hardware and the cadaver bone, put in an antibiotic coated rod as a place holder and a broviac for her antibiotic treatment over the next 4 to 6 weeks.

The next surgery will be in 2 to 4 weeks. Dr. Heare and a plastic surgeon will try to repair the muscle and tissue around her left ankle. To do that, they move a muscle from her back to her ankle. They hook up the veins and arteries - this will help get good blood supply down to her toes and allow Dr. Heare to close the wound better once the new cadaver/rod is placed in her leg. She will also have to have a skin graph. It seems like a long hard process and it is - but Samantha knows and is ready for the challenge. At any time during the next few months, if she decides that it is too much - she can opt for the amputation or if it looks like the infection won't go away... But for now, we are all just hoping for the best. So far it is good and Dr. Heare says we have a 60 to 70 percent chance of success. As always - we will take it a day at a time.

Daniel is doing well. His favorite class is graphic arts - he is really good at it - his teacher is pushing him since she sees his talent. He is preparing for his midterm tests and will take them this week. I think he is pretty excited for Christmas and the break.

Isabella has been on a Santa 'high' the past couple of weeks. She loved decorating for Christmas and was super excited to see Santa. She had a upsetting dream the other night - she woke up and was pretty upset because in her dream, she wasn't on Santa's 'good' list and only got a rock in her stocking. I forgot how nice it was when the kids are this age and they work extra hard at being nice... But I think her favorite is the advent calendar and she hasn't forgot to get her candy once all month! :)

She also had her winter program at school last week. I took some video and will try and get it uploaded to You-Tube soon.

Let's see - I probably am missing a whole bunch of info from the last few weeks - but it has been a long day. I promise to update more often and let everyone know how we are doing.

Until tomorrow - take care - stay warm - and lots of love to everyone!

PINK is everywhere!

Where do I begin? We woke up this morning to absolutely beautiful weather. Jeremy took off for a quick mountain bike ride, while Isabella and I loaded up the chariot and headed out on my bike. We rode up to the coffee shop, had some breakfast and coffee (of course) then stopped at the park on the way home. It was so beautiful and the wind had not kicked up yet.

The rest of the day we spent doing chores. Jeremy finished some shelves for Isabella's room which just had to be pink! They turned out beautiful and we loaded them up with her books. We cleaned and organized her toys, now her room looks comfy! Originally we decorated with frogs, fish and flowers, but slowly it is turning into a 'princess' room. First Isabella found a princess light switch plate, then the pink shelves and now she is going to ask Santa for a Princess light.

Last Saturday we went out to celebrate Samantha's birthday with the uncles and Donna - Sam's friend. It was a wonderful dinner - but we probably won't be going back soon - it was gourmet so that meant really good food but really tiny portions and big prices. :)

Then on Sunday (Sam's actual birthday - Sam had a couple of friends over and we had dinner and birthday cake.

This past week the big kids were with their dad. Normally it would be a bit quiet but Samantha was not feeling well so she stayed with us until Thursday night. I took her see Dr. Miller and it looks like she just had the normal crud that is going around. Nothing special ... We laughed about it. When Samantha found out that she didn't even have strep - she said, "nothing special or amazing? I don't know if I know how to handle that."

The infection in her ankle is looking a bit worse so we decided to see if Sam could have the surgery sooner than later. As of now it will be the week of December 15th. I don't know the exact day or time yet. She is happy and sad - she knows that she will feel better but she is still a bit angry that she has to do anything. She felt a bit overwhelmed last week and had a little breakdown. After things settled down, she said how she hates having the emotional outbursts. I just laughed and said - get used to it - with or without cancer/amputation, you are still a girl and that just is part of the package.

We finished up painting her room on Tuesday. Jeremy put her TV back up and moved some shelves. Once Samantha has it all put back together I will take a picture and show everyone - needless to say it is pink as well.

In between painting Sam's room and getting the shelves up in Isabella's room - we managed to get Isabella a haircut (short like Snow Whites was her request) and I had my eyes checked (I am getting old) and I also got a haircut. I did what Samantha recommended - she likes it but Daniel does not. I am still making up my mind. The haircut would make me look a bit younger if my eyes didn't have the dark circles and eczema around them. It actually made me decide that I need to start focusing on myself a bit more. I now have to fix my hair, I can't just put it in a pony and head out. I also need to drink a lot more water. My eye doctor commented on that as well as the lady who took my blood the other day. So I am trying to drink more water and less coffee.

The reason I had my blood taken was to check my thyroid levels again. It turns out that I am way out of whack again. The doctor was surprised that I felt as good as I did. She increased the amount of medicine I take and after a week - when most people start feeling good and loosing weight - I gained 5 pounds - figures! That combined with my haircut has motivated me to start focusing on eating better and exercising more. I found a website - livestrong.com - that is a lot like weight watchers just free! You can keep track of what you eat and how many calories as well as how much you exercise. I think I will try that for a while - we will see how long I can go...

The wonderful weather helps - I can get out and ride my bike. It is a 2 for 1 - I get some exercise and stress relief. :)

Until nextime -
Night and Love to everyone!

So I woke up yesterday - looked at myself in the mirror and just shook my head. My eczema had flared over the evening. This didn't surprise me. I just pulled out the cover up and moved on. Samantha tried her best to sleep in but ended up getting up around 7:30 am (still better than 5:30 am) .

We left the house and arrived around 11 am. She had her left leg and pelvis basic x-rays. The old bone scans that she usually gets consisted of in injection of some kind of radio-active fluid, then a 2 hour wait and the 1 hour bone scan. This time she got a PET scan, it is more detailed and she only has a 30 minute wait until the actual scan.

The result comes out in a 3 dimensional image of her body - we looked at it beginning at the top of her head all the way down to her toes - kind of like her body as a tube that we look into. All areas of high metabolic activity show up colors from blue (cool) to red (hot). Of course her brain is mostly red - lots going on there as it should be - then down to her lungs which were nice and blue with no hot spots. Further down there were a couple of expected hot spots in her left leg where she is healing and then a bit lower where she has her infection.

The good news is that she is still cancer free - took me long enough long enough - huh? :)

After hearing that great news from the docs we then turned to the talk of her ankle and the options. Not much has changed, however, Samantha had an opportunity to actually look at a prosthetic and she again asked extremely insightful questions. Dr. Heare was proud of her.

I believe after all is said and done - she is leaning back toward the amputation. The infection in her ankle has gotten a bit worse so we will definitely be taking care of things in December. Samantha wants to be able to enjoy Christmas so I am thinking it will happen on the 31st... of course this all depends on Dr. Heare.

Samantha wants some time to talk with her friends about it and then she will give me the final ok to let Dr. Heare know.

I know the next few months will be hard but we will just do it.

In the meantime - I am going to try to start sleeping again hopefully without dreaming. I have had a couple funky ones this week - from flying in an airplane when the door is opened mid flight to getting lost in an extra large parking lot where I wander around looking for my car. You don't really have to be Freud to figure those out, huh?

Isabella is finally back to normal, Daniel is trying to figure out Calculus and Jeremy is trying to find a way to deal with the stress of his job on top of all the family stress.

I think we have good game plans in place and we are looking forward to the holiday season.

Samantha has detailed the plan of her room to me and we will be working on that tomorrow. Hoping to have dinner with the uncles on Sunday to celebrate her birthday and then she is planning a party next weekend at her dad's house with her friends from school.

Back to normal! :)

Love to everyone!

Ups and downs

I am very proud to be an American today. I voted after researching all the issues and I feel hopeful - the first time in a long time. Voting is such a rush - no matter which party you align with - participating is power and a privilege. Ok - enough on that.

The big kids were with their dad over the weekend, but Samantha stopped by to trick or treat at the house and said hi. Isabella was excited to go out - but even more excited to stay in and hand out candy. She sat on the mat in front of the door and every time someone came toward the house she would call out 'MOM'... totally cute.

The weather here in Denver has been fantastic - just about perfect, so we decided to head to the zoo on Saturday.
Here is Isabella and Jeremy posing on the Hippo sculpture.

We hung out at the zoo for a few hours.
The carousel is an Isabella favorite. She also enjoyed seeing the giraffes - they had 2 babies (who are much taller that Jeremy and I).

Other than that we had a pretty quiet weekend. Jeremy got to go for a mountain bike ride on Sunday - I got to clean the house - yahoo!

Isabella took some time riding her scooter and her bike. I didn't get a picture of her on her bike but maybe next time.

I loved the dress and snow boot combo - of course everything is pink - ug - just kidding! :)

Monday both kids came home and it was crazy like normal.

However, when Isabella woke up this morning - she was hot. She stayed home from school today and we have been battling a fever. Isabella doesn't get sick so it is hard to see her white and lethargic. I am hoping that the fever will break soon - but I have a feeling I won't be sleeping a bunch tonight.

Samantha is feeling good for the most part. She admitted that she is back to feeling torn about what to do with her leg. She has more questions to ask Dr. Heare on Thursday. The ankle infection did break thru the skin this past weekend so it is good that we are meeting with the doctor soon. At this point I am flying by the seat of my pants. As I have said before - I will support either decision Samantha makes, however, I have to admit I don't know how I will do it - I only know I will.

Samantha's scans are on Thursday as well. I am recognizing a sort of pattern developing. This will be 8 months cancer free but the knot in my stomach has not gotten any smaller. I recognize that I am a bit more teary, less focused and that I won't sleep well until after we get good news. Friday will be an easier day.

Samantha turns 15 on Sunday. I usually take her out to lunch and we do some shopping. This year we may be decorating her room instead of her body. We will see... I know she has plans - again I am just along for the ride (wink wink!).

Well I am going to try and stay up to find out who our new president will be - we will see if I can make it. Whether your candidate wins or loses, I hope you are proud that we live in such a great country that gives us the privilege to participate.

Love to everyone!!