What Lack of Sleep Can Will Do For You

Emotions go up and come down...

Last night was a rough night for Samantha. The nurses had to move her a lot and they were having trouble getting the pulses (equipment issues) - we were lucky to get 15 minutes of sleep at a time.

Then this morning around 8 am they turned off the epidural and started oral pain meds. Because of all the movement during the night, Sam used her pain button quite a bit. The pain doctors recommended a little bit of Valium to help keep her relaxed. It worked a bit too well.

This afternoon I tried to go home and check on Jeremy and I was going to pick up Isabella and bring her to the hospital with me. Just when I got home Chris called and said that Sam needed me back as soon as possible. Sam woke up disoriented and wouldn't let anyone touch her. So I jumped into the van and headed back to the hospital. Isabella went cross country skiing with the Waltons today and didn't get back in time for me to bring her with me. Jeremy assured me he was feeling well enough to take care of Izi.

I got back and Samantha calmed down a bit. She is feeling better, ate some dinner and guess what we are watching? Gilmore Girls - what a surprise!

It can be a bit hard when I really want to be in 2 places at once. Isabella was gone when I got home last night so I have not seen her in a couple of days and that is hard too. I know she is fine and had a blast hanging out with her friend Leah - but I am selfish. :)

Some really good news about one our our friends from here at the hospital - Taylor (her caring bridge site in over on the left) had her scans yesterday. Her tumors are shrinking!!! It brought tears to my eyes. Being back at the hospital and seeing the kids brings back memories and good news is always welcome.

I am going to finish tonight with a the news that Samantha is a star... There is a local radio station that does a radiothon every year to raise money for The Children's Hospital. They came to Samantha's teen cancer group to interview the kids and volunteers and put together a video that they have on their website. Here is the link: http://www.alice1059.com/pages/3743639.php. Take a look - Sam is so beautiful!

Night - Love to everyone!

Carl Got a Flat

Good news first - Samantha is doing well. They moved us up to the 7th floor out of ICU. She ate a bit tonight and was awake a bit more this evening.

Her right arm is a bit swollen from an earlier IV and compounded by the fact that there is still a clot in the artery the broviac was in. The doctors say the body will deal with it and that swelling should go down in a few days. They considered giving her blood thinners but that may hinder the free flap. For right now she is getting aspirin - then tomorrow they are planning on turning off the epidural and getting her on oral meds. Once she is managing her pain that way then they want to get rid of all the IVs and give her veins a break.

I am thinking we will go home on Monday or Tuesday...

Now of course things would not be the same in our household without a little bit of drama. Jeremy (aka Carl) called me this morning and from the tone of his voice I knew something was wrong. At first I thought it was Roxy - she was scheduled to have her surgery today. But no - Jeremy was calling me from the hospital. His lung collapsed again - it happened about 6 or 7 years ago. I forget the medical name for it - but last time we were told that it is common among young athletic men. It is even more common to happen multiple times. It so happened that last evening he was feeling out of sorts and having trouble sleeping. At about 3:30 am or so he knew it was the lung and called Damian. Isabella woke up and was a great helper getting dad to the hospital and also at the hospital. She was a mim nurses assistant. Jeremy is doing alright now - they put a tube into his lung thru his chest to help keep the pressure where it needs to be so the lung will stay inflated until the tear heals. Last time he needed to be in the hospital 4 days but this time they sent him home - the technology has improved leaps and bounds according to his doctor. He is on pain meds and is to rest until Sunday when he will go back in and they will cap off the tube and wait another day to make sure the lung doesn't collapse again. If it is good - then on Monday they will remove the tube.

Isabella is at a friends house for the night. I took off a couple hours from the hospital while Chris sat with Sam and went home to make sure he was alright for myself. His color is good, he is just moving a bit slowly.

I made him promise to call 911 if he had any problems during the night and to call me when he woke up tomorrow morning so I know he is ok. I hate that he is home alone - but he wouldn't come and stay with me in the hospital.

I always feel like we are just normal people - is there another normal family out there that has such an active life? If so - please let me know we are not alone!! :)

I got to talk with my friend Dianna today so I am feeling better about things all around. However, I am more sure than ever that I want to take a vacation - just a small one. What do you say Rena - maybe we should run away for a weekend to someplace warm and sunny - say.... California? Maybe a bed and breakfast in wine country?

I will start dreaming about it now....

I will update again tomorrow and let everyone know how Sam did coming off the epidural and how Jeremy is doing with his chest tube.

Until then - Love to everyone!!

Pink and Pulsing

Catch your attention? Pink and Pulsing describes the surgery site and this is good. So yesterday we were meeting with the doctors at around 5:30 am, getting a chance to ask questions about what would happen. Samantha hesitated a bit but then let her question loose. For the past month we have been talking about doing this 'free flap' down around her ankle. She was concerned that flap meant the skin would actually be flapping around...

We all had a good laugh and it reminded us how kids hear and understand things. Dr. Heare explained that it was called a flap because originally they would cut part of a muscle and flap it over to repair a damaged area. Hers is called a 'free flap' because now they can actually cut the muscle out completely and put it anywhere it is needed. He explained that this flap would be completely attached down by her ankle. Dr. Ozer took the muscle from the inside of her left thigh, then he attached all the important blood vessels to the muscle and covered it all with a skin graft.

Originally we were told that this surgery would be about 5 hours, but all in all it ran about 8. A very long day but also very successful. During the original limb salvage surgery she lost the posterior artery (the one that runs down behind and to the inside of the leg) because it ran right thru the original tumor. But the body is amazing and it started to re-grow and branch out. It was not at big as the other artery (the one that runs on top of the leg) but it was big enough to support the flap. This in itself was great news. It improves the success rate of the operation dramatically.

After the surgery Samantha was taken into intensive care. The reason for this is that the flap needs to be monitored very carefully for 72 hours. The first 24 hours are the most important. She has this huge dressing on her leg - from hip to toe. But they cut a tunnel down to the flap - if you look down you see this pink tender skin with a kind of mesh on top. Then the nurses have an ultrasound machine they lower onto the exposed site to listen for the pulsing of the blood. Both the pink and the pulsing are very important. Everything they are doing now is to encourage good blood flow all the way down to her toes. She is on an epidural because that medicine tends to enlarge the arteries, her foot has what they call a bear hug blanket - blowing warm air constantly on the leg. They also are really trying to keep Samantha's pain level low, because when you are in pain the arteries constrict. For the most part - Samantha has been sleeping. I think this is a good thing - she is relaxed and comfortable.

We made it thru the first 24 hours so the chance of survival (of the flap) jumped higher. All the doctors will relax a bit once we hit the 72 hour mark. I am thinking we will probably be in the hospital about a week - it all really depends on Sam and her flap... That sounded kind of funny.

We have had a couple of our favorite nurses stop by to check on her - all asking when she will get to move to the 7th floor. I also noticed a girl from Sam's cancer teen group here in intensive care. I believe she had a stroke and is battling an infection - this was a side effect of the chemo she is on... I see her mom - both Daniel and Samantha know her. I hope that she comes thru this - it has been a really long battle for her.

Let's see - Daniel is doing ok - his attitude has taken a turn towards the mellow, maybe it is because we are taking a time out from each other - lol. Isabella received a gold sticker today for completing her 'teen' level of math beads. She is very proud of herself! She was a bit upset tonight because she could not come back to see Samantha and she misses her. So we ended up getting a gift (A teen magazine with the Jonas Brothers on the front) to give to Sam and some 'not hot' Cheetos for her. She left happy as a clam.

Tomorrow our dog Roxy is going into surgery too - she tore her ACL and after searching long and hard we found a clinic that will repair it for a reasonable price. We are all super excited for this because the alternative would have been to put her down. She is in too much pain.

As I nurse Sam back to feeling good here in the hospital - Jeremy will be nursing Roxy back to health at home. Never a dull moment in the Layer house...

I know that after this surgery, I will feel a bit better. With each successful procedure we are closer to getting Sam walking again and all this will be worth it.

Take care - send good vibes -

Love to everyone!!

PS - ending with a picture of Sam all dolled up this past Sunday.

Long Week - Long Day

I don't think it was a full moon. Maybe I am wrong - I should probably check. This week has been long and hard and it is only Tuesday - jeez.

The weekend was nice for the most part - kind of short but we got to go visit some friends on Sunday. Monday hit us full force - work has been super busy and Samantha has not been feeling well. Daniel, I think is feeling off too.

I definitely know I am off. I am not on the same wave length as the kids lately - turning into one of those crazy moms that most teenagers talk about. I was hoping to handle it a bit better once we got to this point. My goal now is to thicken up my skin and relax a bit.

Samantha was having some issues with her broviac - we can not draw blood lately. The last time she received her antibiotic it burned a bit so the doctor had us come in and get an x-ray to check out the line. It seems that the broviac may be leaking a bit so the doctor will fix that during tomorrows surgery.

The good news is that since we were all ready at the hospital and getting x-rays they decided to do her chest CT scan and pelvic x-rays - both of which looked fantastic. These are the scans they were planning to do during next weeks Oncology 3 month check up. SAMANTHA IS NOW 1 YEAR CANCER FREE!!!!!! YAHOO!!!!!

Tomorrow will be a long day as well - but we will be one step closer to Samantha walking again.

In the meantime I will continue to wade thru the turmoil of teenage drama and pull all the humor out of the situations I can. If anyone has some good tips - please pass them along.

Night and love to everyone!

It's Been Too Long

Let's see - it has been 3 weeks since my last update - what has happened since then?

Well Jeremy rode a mechanical bull. We had an opportunity to see Robert Earl Keen at this country bar and as Jeremy was returning from the restroom, he eyed THE BULL. He was determined to try it out. I tried to capture his heroic ride on my camera phone, but all I got was this blur. The bull was going so fast it was hard. I think he may have made the 8 seconds but it is hard to tell - influenced as we were by the whiskey. :)

One of our weekends, we were invited up to Winter Park ski resort with some friends. The big kids were hanging with their dad so Jeremy and I decided - what the heck...

We had a really nice visit with our friends and then Sunday morning we were able to do some snow shoeing. Obviously Isabella can't snow shoe yet so she got to ride in a sled.

I really enjoyed getting out in the snow and fresh air. I have not been able to do anything like this in a while. I wish we could do it more often. Isabella laughed as dad tried to keep up on the downhills. She is an ace at balancing inside the sled. She really loved being outdoors as well - never complained about the cold once.

Other than those 2 weekends - life has been pretty normal. The kids are doing well in school and Samantha has been the super girl we have been used to seeing.

Last week we met with the doctor that will be doing the 'skin envelope' to repair the skin around Samantha's ankle that has been damaged by the infection. The doctor was confident and definitely knows what he is doing - which made me feel good. Samantha of course was in rare form when she met him. After a 2 hour wait to see him, he informed her that he wanted to remove her cast to look at the leg. Samantha hates to have the cast removed and it is especially hard on her when she is not prepared for it. She grilled the doctor for almost 20 minutes before he was allowed to remove it - she wanted to know exactly what he would be doing and why.

Basically, in order for this skin repair to work the doctor needs to find a good artery to redirect into the transplanted skin. Most people have 2 main arteries bringing blood to the foot. Samantha lost one of those because it was interlaced with her tumor. We know the other one is strong because her toes are nice and warm and pink.

Ideally it would be wonderful if the other artery ended close enough to her calf to use. Sam had to do a vascular study in order to determine if there is a good vein for the doctor.

We originally scheduled that for Wed. We arrived at The Children's Hospital thinking that Samantha would have to have a quick injection and a special x-ray. However, as we were walking back to the procedure room they started describing the procedure. It turns out that they sedate her and give her some pain meds then cut into an artery near her groin. They thread a catheter down the main artery into her left leg using a camera. Then they inject dye into the blood stream and take a fancy x-ray. This allows them to see all the blood vessels in her leg. After they finish up she has to lie completely flat for 4 hours so the artery can scab over.

We really were not prepared for it and again Samantha was very upset - she hates surprises. We got her all prepped for the procedure and at the last minute she cancelled it. We ended up rescheduling it for today. It worked out much better. Wed evening we had planned on celebrating Daniel's birthday with the uncles and we would have missed that, plus Samantha actually need to stay bedridden for 24 hours after so she would have missed a day of school and 2 important tests.

Samantha showed up today for the procedure all happy and compliant. We have to wait until the doctors see the study to get any result. Although from looking at it today, I didn't see another artery that was very big. I guess we will have to wait and see.

This past weekend was really exciting for the kids. Daniel and Samantha's dad and step mom had their baby - 2 weeks early and on Daniel's birthday. At first Daniel was a bit upset but after he saw the baby he is now pretty happy it worked out this way. It is a good connection between the brothers. Samantha is of course so excited and very helpful. The baby is so adorable - I am really happy for them.

Next week will be pretty busy, her surgery is scheduled for Wed morning and it will take most of the day. We have been told she will be in intensive care for a few days because they need to check her pulses in the foot every four hours.

This weekend - Isabella has a birthday party - we have an invite from some friends - the wash and house need to be taken care of since I will be gone for a while with Samantha.

She has to stay flat for most of tomorrow and I think Jeremy and I may try to catch a movie - we will see.

Work has been super busy for me - I should probably work a bit over the weekend but I am not really good at actually sitting down and doing that. The result will mean I will still be behind at work next week - a never ending story. :)

I know I always promise this - but I will try to update more often and include more pictures - until then - take care!

Love to everyone!

So It Starts Again

WHEW... We made it thru the holidays - relaxed, happy and ready for the new year - can you believe it?

I think I told everyone last time that Isabella and Jeremy went skiing. So I have added the pictures and the quick video.

The video is short, but keep in mind that my superstar husband is trying to catch her while he is skiing backwards.

Make sure the sound is up when you watch it - Isabella giggles and it is so cute!

So they went skiing on Friday - Sunday we took off for Gunnison to visit our friends Bill and Susan.


Susan just had (2 months ago) another baby boy. She has her hands full now.

I love to visit Gunnison - we always have a relaxing time. Jeremy and Bill went skiing on Monday, while Isabella and I hung out and played with Burke and Bing (their boys).

Isabella had a fantastic time and cried when we had to leave. I think she really enjoys being a 'big sister' type friend.

Burke just followed her around with a big smile on his face.

I got to help with the baby which I just loved! A nice side note - usually I look at babies and try to figure out if and how we can have another one. But this time, I got to enjoy helping out and knowing that we would be leaving without a baby. I think I am at a stage now where I can enjoy all the kids as they are and glad that I won't have another 'terrible two' or 'crazy brained teenager' to look forward to after my three.

We left Gunnison on Tuesday afternoon and stopped for a quick overnight at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs half way home to Denver.

The room was reasonable and we really had a great time soaking in the hot springs that evening and Wed morning. What a view - huh?

There is a part of the property where you can go sit in little side pools of the river. The water is jacuzzi like but the scenery is fantastic. The moon was beautiful ...

For New Year's Eve - we headed to a friends house for dinner and drinks. You know you are getting old when 5 minutes after midnight - you are ready to head home and hit the sack! :) It was super fun and we were glad to be sleeping in our own bed after travelling.

New years day we just relaxed. Both Jeremy and I had a chance to finish our books and start new ones. I actually finished 2 books last year! How great is that? Books are such a luxury in our house.

The big kids came home Thursday evening and we played a bit of Wii. Jeremy and I decided to cut back on Christmas this year and get the family the Wii. Along with the sports games we also got Wii Fit and I personally just love it! Samantha loves to play tennis and she can kick every one's butt regularly now. Daniel and Jeremy go back and forth breaking the ski and snowboarding records. Isabella and I just hang out and take our turns trying to improve our balance with the cool balance games on Wii fit.

I was a bit apprehensive thinking we should be saving more just in case something happens with our jobs, but when I watch Daniel and Samantha laugh together (when they are usually yelling) I know I made the right choice. I also love the fact that Sam can go all day without additional pain meds when she is distracted. We have been watching less TV and moving more - all good.

Sorry for the commercial - jeez...

Then on Friday, Samantha and Isabella did the whole facial treatment. Dan snowboarded on Friday and Jeremy skied on Saturday.

Sunday - today - I spent doing my chores. Sam is still doing some finishing touches to her room which I will post pictures once it is finally finished, and Daniel hung out with his latest girlfriend.

Jeremy is trying to get hyped up for going back to work tomorrow and spent the whole day forcing himself to relax. Anyone who knows Jeremy will understand what a hard thing that is for him to do. I think by 2pm (after a massage, finishing his latest book and working on another shelving project) he announced that he was bored. If the weather was better, I would have had him setting up the greenhouse mom brought for me. He would have complained but at least he would have been busy.

Tomorrow we head back to our hectic lives. All the kids head back to school. Sam is still doing the antibiotic every 6 hours. Her noon dose will get pushed back a bit - but she has the last 2 periods free so I will bring her home early while she still needs the medicine.

Wednesday she wants to go get her driving permit so she can practice driving. I am trying really hard to not think too much about her out there driving. So far she is doing ok in parking lots and close to home (not in real traffic yet.)

I hope everyone out there had a great holiday season like we did. Here is to leaving behind the hard times of the past year and enjoying all that life throws our way this next one!

Love to everyone!