Trying hard to be normal

We really are trying to be normal. But it is harder than you might think. I go into the office and it is so quiet - it is actually hard for me to concentrate. Isabella has probably adjusted back to normal the easiest. But on the other hand, when something pops up that is out of the normal schedule - she takes it harder than she used to.

Before Sam's diagnosis, the big kids stayed with me a week and then with their dad a week. The past year, Samantha has felt more comfortable staying at my home. We were hoping we could go back to the old schedule but she has tried and is not comfortable with it yet. She came up with a good compromise. Every other week - her father picks her up from school and she hangs out with him thru dinner. Then she comes back here to sleep. She still is walking with the crutches and there are times when she needs help getting dressed or taking a shower. Being a teenage girl, it is no surprise that she wants her mom to help in those cases.

I am thinking that we all may have been a bit naive in our expectations of returning to normal. But time will help.

The weather has been great for the last couple of days. I think they are saying possible snow tomorrow - that is just Colorado - no surprise there...

We took Isabella to the park last night and one of her favorite friends from her school showed up. We didn't know they lived so close... The two of them played until almost dark. Then tonight Jeremy went for a mountain bike ride. I know this may sound corny but I had a weird feeling. So when he called to check in tonight (he always calls when he finishes up a ride) I wasn't too surprised to hear that he was hurt. It turns out that his ankle took a beating. It is super swollen and he is using a set of Samantha's crutches for now.

Let me tell you all - having both Samantha and Jeremy propped up on the couch not able to move has been fun. The 2 of them were battling for the remote - asking for this or that. I should be skinny with how much running up and down the stairs I do.

I have also been trying to get another short slide show together - there apparently is a new feature on this blog that would allow me to add one - however, I am having a super fun time trying to figure it out. We may have to settle for the direct link - http://picasaweb.google.com/layergal/BloggerSlideShow

I wish I had more time to experiment to jazz up the site. Maybe if it snows tomorrow I will feel more like staying in front of the computer.

Oh well - stay tuned.

Until tomorrow - love to everyone!

Full Circle

This will be a short one tonight. This past weekend was wonderful. Full of activity (but not too full). Samantha went to a birthday party on Saturday evening and went to a movie on Sunday afternoon. Daniel helped Jeremy build a new bench in the front garage to prepare the space for some new tools Jeremy wants to get. Daniel also went on a bike ride with Isabella and me.

We ended the weekend having some dinner with friends.

Today weather was mild and a bit overcast - kind of like my mood. The morning started with me feeling a bit overwhelmed as usual trying to get all the kids dressed and lunches and deal with work. But things got done... All three got to school and had wonderful days.

This week the big kids - Daniel and Samantha - are with their dad. And while I miss them, it gives Jeremy and I time to hang out with Isabella and have some quiet time together once she goes to bed. Although all we did tonight was watch a bit of TV.

I got the request to put more pictures on the site and I have been looking at other blogs to get some ideas. I will work on it this week.

Alrighty then - I am going to hit the sack. Sweet dreams - Love to everyone!

TGIF

Got all the kids off to school with no drama today - that was kind of nice. I ran out of my decaf coffee so I drank a cup of Jeremy's this morning. I got so much done - Work, doctor bills, a batch whites - totally cool.

We were invited to dinner with some friends tonight - they have a wonderful home about 40 minutes north of us. So I picked up the kids from school and after a quick stop at Starbucks (surprise surprise) we arrived. Daniel and Isabella disappeared into the family room, playing video games and Legos. Samantha decided to stay with the adults and enjoy the conversation.

We hung out with 2 tall blond beautiful women tonight, had wonderful food and drink. It was a perfect, relaxing evening.

Isabella fell asleep on the way home. But the amazing thing is that once I had her in her room - she woke up and asked for multiple books. We read a few and I settled in for a snuggle. I must have fallen asleep because she woke me up and told me to stop snoring...

Well I got her to sleep and came downstairs to check on the rest of the family. Samantha was settled in for the night with a bag of hot Cheetos and a big glass of milk. Daniel was in his room doing yoga (yep that is right... I love detox week) and Jeremy had fallen asleep on the couch watching a Dave Matthews concert on VH1 mumbling something about wanting a chain saw powered blender so we can have margaritas while camping. I don't know about you but when I drink margaritas (which is not often since 1 knocks me on my tush) I like them on the rocks. :)

I am sure all this sounds so normal - but it is really nice to have a social life again and watch my kids and husband having fun and laughing.

Life is good!

Just a wild and crazy day...

You may have seen the movie 'Cheaper by the Dozen' - there is a scene where the dad is trying to get dinner together and one kid comes up to him because she scraped her knee - he is tending to her - some spaghetti sauce is spilled on the floor - another kid comes in and thinks it is blood and pukes - then the phone rings...

Well that is how my morning started off. Daniel has late start so he doesn't go to school until after 9 - Samantha had her civil war re enactment so we had to be at the park by 9:30 am - and Isabella needed to get to school too.
I was tending work matters, making lunches for all three kids while Daniel played with Isabella. Not a quiet game, but one where he throws a stuffed animal at her then runs as she screams trying to get him back. Somewhere in there Daniel decided he needed to do this while on Sam's crutches adding a fun twist to the proceedings. Then the phone rang... I was trying to figure out how to work from a park while getting lunches and bags into the van when the dog slipped out the front door. We have 2 - one stayed like a good girl but the other - Roxy - decided she wanted to go and wouldn't get out of the van. We finally bribed her out with treats. We got everyone loaded and were on the road only 10 minutes late. And I only had to listen to "Don't stop believing" 2 times. Am I a miracle worker or what?

The civil war reenactment was really cool, made me want to do some research on the civil war and its battles - haven't done it yet - but I want to... ;)

We made it until lunch (about 3 hours) before Samantha's rear end gave out. She couldn't participate since she can't walk and hold the gun. But all the other kids did a fantastic job - getting shot with flour packets and dying so convincingly.

Jeremy and I were invited for drinks with some friends from work. We were actually able to go this time. Daniel has been begging for a chance to earn some money, so he babysat Isabella and Samantha had dinner with her Dad. We were home in time to read Isabella books and snuggle a bit before she fell asleep.

Samantha is heading off to bed and Dan and Jeremy are playing a game of chance - just a nice quiet night at home - the complete opposite of this morning. I guess that means our life is returning to a nice balance.

This week flew by and the weekend is almost full already.

Until tomorrow - night and love to everyone!

Caring Bridge entry - April 23rd 2008

Well I thought I was handling the upcoming scans just fine. I was trying not to obsess and worry before I heard any news - but all day yesterday my eczema acted up. I was itchy, itchy, itchy. I finally got everyone to bed and I layed there. No sleep for me until late (or early depending on how you look at it.) I was up at 6 am to get everything ready for a day at the hospital.
It wasn't so bad this time. I was able to get everything we needed into 1 bag. I woke Sam up with just enough time for her to get dressed. She didn't argue or moan. She said she was actually looking forward to seeing everyone. We made the stop at Starbucks and popped in 'Sam's Healing Tunes' and hit the highway.
We made it to the hospital at the time they told us - although the scan technician told us that we should have been told to be there 30 minutes earlier...
Anyway, Samantha was injected with the radioactive liquid that makes her bones glow. We have to wait 2 hours for it to travel thru her body. Samantha was then taken to get a couple x-rays so if there are any questionable sites the doctor can compare with the corresponding x-ray.
After Sam finished the bone scan we headed up to clinic for a weigh in - Sam is at a whopping 96 pounds - yahoo! Blood pressure and oxygen level were perfect. Dr. Ball met with us and we compared this scan with the one 6 weeks ago. I was surprised by the improvement. Dr. Heare said he wouldn't be surprised if there was no change; however, even though there was still a couple 'hot spots' the size was considerable smaller than last time. We could see where the bones are starting to grow and heal into the cadaver bones. All in all a very good doctor visit.
We then made a round and visited the nurses. We got to see beautiful Anna. Everyone complimented Samantha - she looks so beautiful and her hair is coming in like gangbusters.
We saw a couple familiar faces like Hope and Dax. Dax was a little under the weather but Hope was full of fire.
It was kind of bitter sweet. I love to see all our nurses and doctors but I was also reminded that so many other families are still battling cancer. I heard other mothers reminding their children of the chemo schedules and port draws - making sure the Emla was applied.
Memories of when we were sitting waiting for blood counts shot to the front of my mind too easily. We have been good - concentrating mainly on getting our family back to normal. But I have a feeling I won't forget the events of the past year. Shadows of those memories temper my attitudes and actions. Days like today remind me how grateful I am that Sam is feeling good and laughing (even if it is because she is picking on her sister).
The next round of scans will be a full blown day like our first back in May. Today's was a short day only a bone scan and x-rays. Next time will include the bone scan, x-rays, CT scan, heart test, hearing test, blood counts, etc. We have a tentative date of June 4th.
I know the postings to this site have slowed down - we are getting back to our busy normal life - but I hope everyone knows how much we love and appreciate you all. I am currently working on getting a family blog set up so we can continue to post about everyone - not just Samantha. :)
I want to give back the caring bridge resources to families that really need this wonderful service. I don't think we would have made it thru - I was going to say 'so easy' but it really wasn't easy... I think this past year would have been so much harder without the support of everyone who followed Samantha's journey and left such wonderful caring posts.
I will add the link to our family blog soon and then do a final sign off.
Thank you all again and again.
Love to everyone!

OK so here it goes...

Starting up this new blog wasn't as easy at the Caring bridge site. You can't believe the all the settings that need to be checked. I can only hope that I did it ok. So I think I am just going to copy the Caring Bridge entry into the blog here. But I want to include some info about the other members of the family.

I was a bit nervous about Isabella. We have settled into a routine lately and I think she is starting to trust it, so we didn't make a big deal about our hospital visit today. She was so happy when I picked her up from school and I think that helped. Although she did not go to sleep easily tonight. Samantha read her stories tonight and then when I went up to 'snuggle', I had to make up a couple more. She just wouldn't go to sleep. She said she wasn't tired. -- Well she will be tomorrow - she didn't fall asleep until almost 10 pm - ug.

Daniel didn't have school today and decided to spend the day at the hospital with us. He had to get up early so he was dragging all day. But he did his best to keep Samantha occupied while we waited for the scans. He is keeping us on track when dealing with Mental Detox week. He decided that he would only use electronics when he had to, so he has put away his scooter, his cell phone, his ipod, video games, TV and computer. I am so proud of him. He has been walking to school, reading and playing board games with all of us this week. He taught Samantha how to play chess and I have to give her credit - she has tried. She says it is boring so I don't know if she will be joining the chess club anytime soon. I have not played a lot in my life but this week Daniel has been challenging me.

It has been really nice just hanging out as a family lately.

Samantha's school is doing a civil war reenactment. She has had an easy week since all her classmates have been practicing their marching. Since she can't march (she will play the part of a wounded soldier - with a neon pink cast -lol) she didn't really have to go to school the early part of the week. I guess that is for the best - she didn't really miss anything today.

We are all a bit tired from getting up early - all the kids got to take a nap today - lucky ducks! :)
I wasn't as lucky - bed sounds so wonderful! I love the idea of getting a good nights rest knowing Samantha is still cancer free! I only hope that I don't dream of possible chess moves all night...

I hope this new blog works out for everyone. Leave a comment and let me know what you think. I will start to add some pictures and see if I can make this a bit more 'us'.

Until tomorrow - sweet dreams - love to everyone!