Pretty Tired

Just a quick update because it is late.  We have had a couple hard but good days.  Monday Samantha slept quite a bit.  I think she was catching up on the sleep she missed while in the hospital as well as trying hard to not to think about the upcoming doctor visit.


We met with Dr. Heare yesterday.  Samantha was really worried because she knew she would have to look at her leg.  Sure enough, Dr. Heare took the dressing and splint off and Samantha had to watch as he showed her how to wrap her leg.  Samantha was so brave and watched thru the tears how to care for her leg.  I was so proud of her!


There is a specific way to wrap the limb to prevent swelling.  The better she can manage the swelling the faster she will be ready to have her socket cast.  There are so many new things we are learning and I will share all the details tomorrow.


The activity yesterday wore Sam out and we spent most of the evening and today managing her pain.  Right now she has everything under control and doing fine.


Goodnight - love to everyone!

A Perfect Day

We are home!  Samantha really wanted to go home yesterday, but she needed to get up on crutches before they would let us leave.

Samantha is still hesitant to look at her leg and she was thinking that when she gets out of bed she would have to look...   Whenever we encouraged her to get up, she would make herself sick.  She would tense up which in turn caused her pain to intensify.  She would then need more pain medication which would make her sleepy.  It was a vicious cycle.

So this morning before we had visitors we came up with a game plan.  Samantha is in control of when she looks but that shouldn't mean she can get out of bed...  Mom and Dad helped her hide her leg as mush as possible when she was standing or in her wheelchair.

Once she got the OK to not look, she relaxed.  She took a half dose of Valium and set a goal to leave the hospital today.  It took slow steps forward - first she had to get used to sitting up - then letting her leg point down off the bed.  They doctors warned us the first time it was down the blood rushes and it can cause pain.  Samantha was determined and is getting good at breathing thru the waves until the pain lessons.  Once she made it past the leg being down - she stood up and handled the leg without assistance on her crutches.  Woo hoo!  The doctors signed off and after two stops at different Starbucks for her Frappuccino and cheese box, we made it home.

The next hurdle was was getting out of the car and down 5 steps to the couch.  She did it all with her eyes closed or looking forward with the help of Mom and Dad.  She sighed with relief as she sank down into her usual spot on the couch.

There was a few tears but no one would know to look at her now.  She is hanging out with Isabella playing her Sims game - relaxed  and happy.

Jeremy has done a fantastic job holding down the home front with the help of my mom.  Mom was a lifesaver with Isabella, making Grandma's Cookies and getting homework done on time.  Now that we are home - Mom is sleeping and Jeremy is out in the garage doing whatever with a beer and music.

Samantha received so many well wishes - cards, balloons, plants (oh my!) and her first hour was spent arranging everything so she could see them all.  She keeps saying how wonderful all her friends and family are - and you all are!!  

It was almost 70 degrees today - sunny and beautiful! It is so good to be home!  

I am a bit drained so I will write more tomorrow.  I will let everyone know the next steps soon.

Until then - love to everyone!

Better Day

It was a typical night in the hospital.  Every 30 minutes or so checking this and that...   Samantha was able to sleep a bit and we have her pain under control.  


We have seen doctors, counselors and her physical therapist.  All agree that Samantha looks great and is doing a just fine.


Her dad and grandma spent the day with us and it started out right.  She got some free bagels which just hit the spot.  She watched 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' and napped off and on throughout the day.


Later she got a visit from Isabella, Zack and Annie (her brother and sister on her dad's side).  It was just what the doctor ordered.  Samantha loved to see them and they did a great job keeping her occupied for a couple hours.  It gets a bit crazy with little ones but they were happy to see her smile.


She has so many beautiful flowers and balloons and even a cookie basket!   Right now she is eating her dinner and watching 'The Breakfast Club'.  The goal tomorrow is to get out of bed and off IV pain medication.  Samantha s a bit hesitant to get into a wheel chair because it will be kind of hard not to see her leg.  We are taking it slow and when she is ready, I am sure she will again astound us with her strength and spirit.  Hopefully we will make it home as well.


Love to everyone!

Emotion

Just when you think it can't get any harder - it does.  Just when you think you couldn't be any prouder - you are!


Samantha knows her decision is the right one.  She told me that when she pictures herself in the future  - she is standing with her prosthetic leg on the beach in Italy.  Her hands are on her hips and she has the biggest smile on her face because she is so happy.  She mentioned something about being in a bikini and having a hot bod  - but as her mother I just breezed over that.  :)


The surgery went well - the doctor had to take a small plate out that was initially holding the alograft tibia to her healthy tibia.  That junction has healed beautifully and he left part of the alograft in place.  It gives her the perfect length of residual limb for the prosthetic.  He also used some of her flap (part of the skin graft done earlier) to go down and around the base of her limb. 


It may sound strange to folks, but Samantha was really proud of that skin graft - she thinks it is beautiful because it healed so well.  When she is ready to look at her leg, she will be happy about that part.


There were a lot of tears today - from everyone.  They tell us we will all go thru a grieving process and that it is all really normal.  


When Samantha woke up after the surgery, she had some trouble managing her pain.  I think part of it was that it was really painful but part may have been related to the emotional pain.  Later after we were in the room and the family had left, we talked more about it.  She said she was just so sad...   She said she hated being sad but I suggested she let herself be sad for just a little bit then she can be happy.


My girl is so brave!  My heart is bursting for her now - sorrow for her loss - pride like you can't believe for how she is handling this.  You look at your child when they are born and count their fingers and toes, touch their beautiful faces - revel in how absolutely perfect they are.  You watch them grow and smile as they run and play.  For a while I was really angry that cancer stopped her from running and playing.  We are so grateful that she is healthy but now she is going to be able to run.  No more limits and my girl is perfect still.


love to everyone! 

March 7th - Samantha is back in surgery

So Samantha was ready to move forward and asked for a time sooner than later for her surgery.  She is actually back in surgery right now.  The last week has flown by - we have been visiting different prosthetists and we have seen many many great options for her prosthetic.  She is focusing on the positives and for the most part is happy with her decision.


This morning was hard.  Even though we know this is the best thing for her, it is and will be hard. 


I will post later tonight with more details and let everyone know her state of mind.


love to everyone!

Another adventure

I let this go for a while.  We have all been busy just being normal and it has been wonderful.  Samantha just reached her 4 years cancer free mark.  She is a Senior in high school and looking to graduate in May.  She is so beautiful and laughs a lot.  She has strong opinions so the house is never boring.  Here is Sam at her 18th birthday.

Daniel moved out in August of last year. He is living in Fort Collins and loving it.  He has a girlfriend (Jennie) who is going to CSU while he works at a local vegetarian restaurant.  He absolutely loves living on his own - well sort of - he lives with 3 other college boys.  He is looking forward to moving into a smaller place with Jennie. 

Isabella is in second grade at an immersion school - learning Spanish.  She loves her school and it is super fun to watch her learn another language.  At this school, 80% of her day is in Spanish with the remaining time in English. 

Jeremy is keeping busy by challenging himself with running races and mountain bike races.  He just completed a 55K (about 33 miles) over President's Day weekend.  Our summer is filling up fast.

I just started my seeds for this year's garden and mainly juggle my time between the kids, work and Jeremy's races.  I am really looking forward to the spring!

But the real reason I am going to start posting again has to do with Samantha.  Recently she was experiencing pain in her heel and around the area of her leg reconstruction.  We found that some of the hardware was coming loose.  Her doctor checked and the bones were well healed and so he suggested removing the screws which also meant we needed to remove the rod in her tibia.  About 4 weeks ago she had that surgery - but we found out last Thursday that even though the bone was well healed the allograft (dead bone used to reconstruct her leg) had broke.  At this point Samantha has 2 options.  She can have another surgery to put a metal plate back into her leg.  They would then have to use a procedure (not sure of the name) to try and stimulate bone growth around the allograft.  This would mean she would be on crutches for another 6 months with another 6 months in a brace hoping it would heal.  The doctors gave this option a 50/50 chance of working.  If it did work she would then need another surgery the following summer to even out her legs.  Currently her left leg is about 5cm shorter than her right so she walks with a limp.

Samantha's second option would be a below the knee amputation.  With this option - she would be walking in about 6 to 8 weeks.  She would have less limitations and would not need any more surgeries.  Needless to say the last week has been a rough one.  Given that this is her senior year, she has many things she wants to do.  So she has decided to go with the below knee amputation.  This is her decision and we all support it.  She knows the next 5 weeks will be pretty rough but she is focusing on everything she will be able to do once she has her prosthetic.  The sky is the limit!

Her surgery is scheduled for Wednesday March 7th in the afternoon.  We will probably be in the hospital for a couple of days.  I will post here and let everyone know how she is doing.

Here is to another adventure!

Busy Weekend

My Girls....

So November started off with a BANG! Samantha's Sweet 16th Birthday. She wanted something special so Chris and I gave her a budget and she planned it all.

She managed to get it all in - a Limo ride for 12 to downtown Denver. Overnight stay at the Marriott and dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant.

She made reservations - sent invites and decorated the hotel room. I got to stay in the room next door - a blessing and a curse.

The room was nice and for the most part the evening was semi-peaceful.

Here is Sam with one of her friends all dressed up to hit the town.

12 young men and women all loaded into a stretch limo and headed downtown. I followed in the minivan. :)

After a quick stop to unload their bags and gifts - they headed to Magianos - a fancy Italian restaurant. I wasn't invited to sit with them but the waitress let me know they were all perfectly mannered.

Samantha got a special desert and they all loved the food.

It was surprisingly peaceful eating alone at the bar. My meal was fantastic, the wine was smooth and I didn't have to share the tirimasu.

After dinner they all took a long walk back to the hotel. The evening was beautiful and warm.

Downtown Denver on the 16th street mall is full of very colorful folks at night and while the kids thought they were up for it - they decided against hanging out at the street mall.

Back at the room we had a few hours of giggling and running around, but things settled down around midnight.

I fell asleep at 1:30 am and the girls (boys left at 11 pm) told me they crashed around 2:30 am.

They got up around 9 am - had some cinnamon rolls and went swimming. Then cleaned up and hit the mall during the day - a lot more normal. :)

When Sam finally made it home - she went straight to bed and slept an hour or so. We had a nice quiet family dinner and the rest is history.

I didn't get any of my chores done but what are you going to do?

Friday evening I took the big kids to see the Broadway play Wicked. We had a fancy dinner together and the show was fantastic! I love that I can take them to experience plays and such.

The weekend flew by but all in all I think the kids had a blast. I have the rest of the week to get caught up right?

We are definitely looking forward to Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday). The big kids are with their dad this year and spending it in Spokane with their grandparents. We will have the usual folks hopefully plus Kelly and Rich - Yeah!

We are enjoying the mild weather and plugging along. Jeremy mentioned that the upcoming week seems lighter than usual - maybe I will get to see him a bit more.

Isabella has teacher conferences - man time is flying so fast. We have 7 weeks before Christmas - ugh. Actually I am looking forward to the holidays. I won't be wishing for a peaceful holiday - I am accepting that we really don't live a peaceful life. But life is good and I am happy.

Night and Love to everyone!